Life
Posted on 2009-05-02 16:03:17 by FreakOnALeash
I'm sec 4 this year taking O lvl's this year
16years old
My parents divorced when I'm abt 7
My academic is fair
This year damn stress cause actually I can study just that my school's academic results not so good and students not very hardworking so principal make us have class everyday until 5 sometimes even got night class.
I find it hard to concentrate in class cause my teachers absolutely suck and I cant find enough time to study outside class.The weather so hot so sweaty and face so oily cant concentrate.Sumore kena teacher very draggy cause long lessons.
My girlfriend broke up with me cause her mom feels I have no bright future so forced her to break up with me.
A year has passed since we broke up but I still feel as sore as the first day we broke up.Its not getting any better although I like another girl, I still feel deep down inside, I still want to be with my ex very much and I still love her very much and i think about her every day.
I feel like I'm wearing out and becoming thinner every day of my life.I cut myself very often and I think about suicide everyday.
I want to find a way to commit suicide that I can experience the most amount of pain I can before I pass out and die cold to numb myself from life.
I don't know why am I around for.
My life is a drag to me and I curse first thing in the morning why the heck did I wake up.
Everytime i close my eyes to sleep I see my ex and I think about all the good times we spent together until her mom broke us up. I remember all the long walks along the beach and just hanging out in her house.
I just don't wana live anymore.I want to kill myself as soon as I can get enough courage to jump.
How i wish people around the world could see the state I'm in and they would stop giving birth to children as its the children who suffer most at the end of the day.
Comment:
killer_guitarist said the following on 02-05-09 17:22
I've been through this stage and sooner or later, you're gonna be out of this ditch and realise how stupid it was to have allowed yourself to fall. Yes we do fall but don't take too long to get on with life again. It took a little too long for me and I regret it.
newhope said the following on 03-05-09 05:32
first welcome to egen , now i also in sec 4 takeing my N lvl's this year i am 18 year old .
i can unstand how you feel
last time in sec 3 i also had cut myself befor cose i got bully&make fun by my classmate everday when i go to school and in sec 1 unti sec 3
now i know commit suicide & self cut canot solve anything only make thing worse .
so try to look a good side ok ?
mercuryRingers said the following on 03-05-09 08:35
It must be very stressful to cope with both break up and study.. In additional to things that are are far beyond your control like study hours and bad weather..
Jia you alright..?
You can always express your feelings here.. And if you need someone to talk to.. You can try ec2 @ ec2.sg